- Anguish, sadness, unhappiness, upset
How prone am I to hurt ?
Hurt is an emotional pain
Varying importance of relationships
- Immensely important
- Little less important
- Far less important
Hurt is function of perceived relational value
- Association held with higher value by us expects higher value from others
- Association held with lesser value by us expects lesser value from others
A perceived relational value lower than desired
- Others actually value relationship lesser
- We view others as evaluating relationship lesser
Perceived relational value has evolutionary importance
- We needed supportive groups for protection, care, food
- Social rejection was a direct threat to survival
Continued...
Perceived relational value has evolutionary importance
- Sense of rejection – caused hurt then, causes even today
Physical pain
- Draws attention to the affected body part
- Warns for threats to physical wellbeing
- Alerts to regulate activities against injury, death
Emotional pain
- Draws attention to social behavior
- Warns for threats to our emotional wellbeing
- Signals to control action against setback, breakup
Common types of hurt
- Rejected, avoided, ignored, criticized, betrayed, teased, taken for granted, not appreciated
Tips for Hurt
- Analyze underlying facts
- Do not fret on trivial issues
- Introspect own behavior
- Confront the cause if warranted
Continued...
Tips for Hurt
- Seek emotional support
- Focus on joys rather than pains
- Forgive – yourself and others